Back to the Grind

I am scared.

Today was the first day of the last, and the toughest, rotation this year: internal medicine. Ward round started in the intensive care unit, where I met the consultant I would be attached to for the next four weeks. Immediately, I found myself struggling to answer the questions he threw at me as we saw each patient: chest x-ray interpretation, causes, investigations, and treatments for secondary hypertension, community-acquired pneumonia, and heart failure. Standing in front of the consultant to my left, a senior medical officer (SMO) and a principal house officer (PHO) to my right, I tried to wrestle my brain back from the beaches of Fraser Island as steam started to build up under my collar. It was like playing dodge ball while being chained to a fence post. Two hours later and satisfied that I got a taste of what was to come in the next eight weeks, the consultant left; my battered body sat in a heap on the floor. I picked myself up and finished ward round with the SMO and the PHO.

I finished the day with a long list of things to look up: too much information to learn, too little space in brain.